The real reason I stopped musing on Facebook

A few weeks ago I posted on Facebook that I was going to take a "hiatus" from it so that I could concentrate on nursing school. This was only partly true. Well, actually, it wasn't true at all.

Now, I'm the first to admit that Facebook can be a total time suck, but it has its blessings. I can go online, browse through my friends' status updates, make a few comments, and be off again in a matter of three minutes, thanks to being a fast reader and typist.  It's been a great way to reconnect with old friends and stay connected with faraway friends, and it certainly beats emailing photos of the children to 300 people on a regular basis. People can choose to look at photos when they want to. And if they don't want to, no problemo.

It has also been a fun way for me to muse and rant. I am a double Cancer, born under both the Cancer sun and the Cancer moon, and I wear my emotions like a fashion accessory. Will today be a blue scarf to match the happy sky day, or bright red pants to go with my fiery, pissy mood day? In some respects, I am as changeable as the wind, and I readily accept this character trait of mine, call it a fault if you must.

I thought my friends understood that about me. But now I'm not so sure.

Recently, as if a part of a rejected South Park episode, I was censured for one of my status updates.

Yes, I was censured. Not just scolded for what I had posted, but told -- it was highly recommended -- that I not post anything like that again. Or else. Apparently, I am more powerful than I think, and I should not be posting openly on FB.

My bad.

Apparently, someone had taken my post and run with it like Henny Penny, telling everyone that the sky was falling. That got back to someone else, and then I was sat down to the proverbial wagging finger under the guise of concern.

The first thought I had was one of confusion and sadness. If one of my friends was disturbed by my venting, wouldn't they come and talk with me about it? Wouldn't they communicate their concern over the situation, ask me for more specifics, before ducking for cover?

[And actually someone did send me a message about that particular rant, for which I am very grateful, because it opened up a heartfelt conversation (during which they gently asked me not to post something like that, lol).]

I went through all of my "friends" in my mind. Were there people I should "unfriend" just in case? I doubted everyone, then ultimately trusted everyone. Surely a friend must have mentioned it to another friend, a not-my-friend-on-Facebook-friend, and then like a bad game of telephone, the message got twisted.

But I have learned my lesson. And not in a good way, because now, I'm not sure who some of my friends are (as opposed to my "friends").

A part of me misses Facebook. I miss being able to throw out some witty little banter, offer a friend a virtual hug, and see what's goin' down. I'll still post pictures of the kids, and I'll still use it for nursing school communications, but the good ole' days are gone. I will only write on friends' walls whom I deem as "safe." My own wall and status updates will be very boring.

If you really want to know what's going on with me -- the juicy juice -- you'll have to read my blogs. But be forewarned: they may be hot, sweaty, bloody, gory, emotional, and violent rantings rather than gentle musings.

And if you're really going to take the time to read my blog, and I touch on something that unnerves you, please at least have the where-with-all to ask me about it rather than run around passing out umbrellas because the sky is falling.

Given the choice between 500 "friends" and 5 FRIENDS, I'll take the real deal any day. With or without umbrella.